Communication classes generally stress that the “you” pronoun should not be employed when handling conflict: “YOU said…,” “How could YOU not…,” “YOU were the one who…,” “I expected YOU to handle…” and so on.
Those “you” pronouns can promote blame, fault, and defensiveness, not to mention wounds and further disagreements.
As I pondered this, I happily discovered there are wise, positive avenues to better communication.
Proverbs 12:8: “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” What we say can actually bring healing!
I Thessalonians 5:11: “Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up…”
This is how God does it – Matthew 11:28: “Come to me…and I will give YOU rest.”
Isaiah 41:10: “…I will strengthen YOU and help YOU. I will uphold YOU with my righteous right hand.”
What if we utilized the pattern from God and turned the negative use of “you” into a blessing?
“Thank YOU for your ministry.”
“How may I help YOU with this?”
“YOU are such a joy to be around.”
“YOU are in my prayers.”
“YOU make things special.”
“I appreciate YOU.”
“YOU are a loyal, treasured friend.”
“How are YOU doing?”
“YOU rock!”
“YOU have a precious family.”
“I can always depend on YOU.”
“YOU can do hard things. I’m with YOU.”
“YOU were right. I was wrong.”
“YOU have such meaningful talents and gifts.”
“What would we do without YOU?”
Romans 15:13 – “May the God of hope fill YOU with all joy and peace as YOU put your trust in Him…”
– Vickie Richey
Christ Fellowship